The Day I Stopped Trying to “Fix” My Anxiety

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For a long time, I treated my anxiety like a problem I needed to solve.
Like if I just worked hard enough, I’d find the right routine, the right tool, the right thought, and everything would disappear. I kept trying to “get rid of it” the same way you fix a broken appliance.

The more I tried to fight it, the more exhausted I became.
Even on days when nothing was wrong, I’d scan my body and mind like I was checking for danger:

Was I tense?
Was I breathing right?
Was I overthinking?
Was there something I should be doing to prevent anxiety?

I wasn’t anxious every day.
I was anxious about anxiety.

One afternoon, I caught myself trying to control my breathing because I didn’t want to “mess it up.” And that’s when it hit me: my tools weren’t helping me calm down. I was using them to avoid feeling anything at all.

So I tried something different. Instead of fixing my anxiety, I let it be there. I didn’t monitor my breath. I didn’t try to relax my shoulders. I didn’t check every thought. I just went about my day with the discomfort sitting beside me.

It didn’t feel peaceful.
It felt normal.

And surprisingly, that normal feeling was quieter than any control I’d ever forced.

I learned that my anxiety doesn’t need a cure.
It needs space.
Not attention, not perfection — just room to exist without being chased away.

The day I stopped trying to fix it was the first day it didn’t take over.

— Renee, 33

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